Addicted to TV? Me?

The announcer on a Bravo network ad yesterday caught my attention when he said something (proudly) about "being just as addicted as you are."
Then there are those ads for Lulu or Fufu or whatever it is, which allows you to watch TV wirelessly on your laptop or phone or whatever. The ones that (again, proudly) declare themselves to be aliens with the goal of turning your gray matter into (edible) mush.
Addicted? Time for the checklist.
Does the substance interfere with your relationships? You mean when my husband is trying to tell me about his day and I'm trying stay focused on a "Project Runway" episode I've already seen multiple times.
Does the substance cause you to be isolate and numb out? Does it count as numbing out when I find my chin is on my chest and realize they're naming "America's Next Top Supermodel" and I can't remember the last 15 minutes? My friends should KNOW not to call when Isaac Mizrahi is getting ready to say, "Goodbye, Darling"?
Does the substance go hand in hand with others — such as food, drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, overspending? Well, there is that temptation to swing down to channel 2 and see what the Home Shopping Network is touting in the jewelry hour. And there are those chips and cookies that seem to be the only things that speak louder than "The Real Housewives of New Jersey."
Is the substance something you sometimes hide or feel ashamed of? It's not a lie to tell people I watch PBS, the History Channel and National Geographic and Netflix "Masterpiece Theatre." I do. Just not all the time.
Do you consume the substance in the morning? Well, I do get up at 5 every weekday to watch "West Wing" reruns; they help me polish my witty repartee.
Does the substance cause you to neglect household duties? Ha! I'm safe there. I am the world's living expert at getting the laundry stuffed in the washer and the bed made during commericals. I can do taxes, cook, pay bills, even work on blogs and other tasks while Tyra has a tirade; there's a direct line of sight from kitchen and dining room to TV.
Does the substance cause you to be late to important appointments. No, I can make it to today's doctor's appointment if I leave RIGHT NOW.
Addicted. Shmadicted.